by AnnSheybani | Nov 18, 2013 | Alcoholic rules, Authenticity, Boundaries, coaching, Codependency, Confidence, confrontation, Courage, expectations, Fearless Living, grace, guilt, Honesty, identity, Intimacy, Life, life transitions, limiting beliefs, manipulation, mistakes, nice girl complex, people pleasing, perfectionism, rage, reinvention, risk, Self love, voice, vulnerability, Writing
You get to change your mind You get to make mistakes You get to vacillate You get to take your own sweet time You get to be angry, or hurt, or sad You get to say no You get to take care of your needs You get to disagree You get to speak your mind You get to be direct...
by AnnSheybani | Oct 13, 2013 | adventure, Authenticity, Boundaries, coaching, Codependency, Confidence, Daddy Hole, desire, Empty nest syndrome, expectations, extreem dependency, goals, Honesty, identity, Iran, Life, life transitions, marathon, mistakes, mountain climbing, nice girl complex, people pleasing, purpose, reinvention, risk, running, Self love, Starting Over, voice
Once upon a time I was an aimless girl who twisted herself into a little pretzel to win over a man. He was a decent man, with his own complexes and flaws, who led me down the primrose path into the Islamic Republic of Iran. This did not go well. As with any episode in...
by AnnSheybani | Aug 25, 2013 | 10 Stupid Things WomenDo to Mess Up Their Lives, Alcoholic rules, Alcoholism, Anne Lamott, attachment, books, Boundaries, Brene Brown, coaching, Codependency, connection, Daring Greatly, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Emotional Unavailability, extreem dependency, Fearless Living, grace, guilt, Honesty, identity, Intimacy, limiting beliefs, Lit, love, Mary Karr, mistakes, nice girl complex, people pleasing, perfectionism, Reading, Rhonda Britten, role model, Saying no, Self love, Sociopathology, The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome, The Gifts of Imperfection, The Sociopath Next Door, Traveling Mercies, vulnerability
If I were to teach a course about overcoming the emotional damage and the misconceptions picked up from alcoholic parents, this would be the semester’s assigned reading. You’ll see me quote from these books from time to time, and I often send them to my...
by AnnSheybani | Aug 18, 2013 | attachment, Authenticity, Boundaries, choosing a mate, Codependency, Confidence, connection, Courage, dating, expectations, Honesty, Intimacy, limiting beliefs, love, manipulation, misinterpretation, mistakes, narcissism, people pleasing, risk, Self-Esteem, Walt Hampton
I received an e-mail this week that speaks to so many of us raised in alcoholic households. I just went through a breakup again on Saturday. My 34th birthday. There were many things wrong. Mostly, yet again, I was giving it 100 percent and not getting enough back. He...
by AnnSheybani | Aug 5, 2013 | Alcoholism, Boundaries, Courage, growing up, parenting, recovery, risk, Saying no, tension
I came across the perfect statement this morning in an old journal: Stop trying to control everybody and everything. I have spent my life trying to control my surroundings and the people in it. Like a lot of other unhealthy compulsions, I chalk this one up to my...
by AnnSheybani | Jun 30, 2013 | Boundaries, Dan Brown, nice girl complex, parenting, people pleasing, plot, Saying no, tension, Writing, writing lessons
What if uncertainty and tension and confrontation were good things? How might your life improve if you used them as tools? If you stopped running away from them and recognized them as a fantabulous forces for change? I was giving a creative writing lecture last...
