by AnnSheybani | Oct 3, 2014 | Alcoholic rules, all or nothing, Authenticity, Boundaries, Codependency, confrontation, criticism, dealing with criticism, growing up, Honesty, husband, Life, narcissism, parenting, passive aggressive, people pleasing, personality disorder, rage, The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome, Walt Hampton
Dear Mimi, Thank you for your comment on this Youtube video. You claim that Walt is a 100% narcissist. The thing I’ve noticed about defensiveness, which is what your criticism stirred, is that it always kicks in when I detect an element of truth in what’s...
by AnnSheybani | Jul 13, 2014 | assertiveness, Authenticity, Codependency, Confidence, confrontation, connection, Courage, Honesty, Life, manipulation, nice girl complex, passive aggressive, people pleasing, Rescue, risk, Saying no, Self-acceptance, Self-Esteem
Somebody asked me the other day what I mean when I say, “I teach women how to cut the nice girl crap.” It dawns on me, now, that I need to be more specific because ignorant certain people don’t understand the expression “nice girl,” or...
by AnnSheybani | Jul 6, 2014 | Authenticity, Confidence, forgiveness, goals, guilt, Honesty, Life, nice girl complex, people pleasing, running, Self-acceptance, Self-Esteem, tenacity, voice, William James, Writing
Chemists like equations. Chemist that I am, I’m going to give you an equation I learned very late in life. Listen up, because this one affects every aspect of your life. Self-esteem= Success/pretensions William James, the father of psychology, came up with this...
by AnnSheybani | Jun 23, 2014 | Authenticity, confrontation, connection, criticism, Honesty, kindness, Life, manipulation, nice girl complex, people pleasing
Nice girls believe that if they’re super sweet, and agreeable, and helpful, and they never argue or complain, and they take one for the team, and they go the extra mile, and they volunteer to do the job no one else wants to do, and they keep quiet, and they don’t make...
by AnnSheybani | May 12, 2014 | Alcoholic rules, Anne Lamott, Authenticity, connection, Courage, criticism, Cultural Issues, culture shock, dealing with criticism, grace, Honesty, identity, Iran, mistakes, Motivation, risk, Self-acceptance, sex, voice, vulnerability, Writing
This week I was asked an interview question that really got me thinking: “Much of your writing is deeply personal and provocative; some of it seems almost intended to shock. Is there a cost for being so forthright?” A lot of us who choose to write memoir or personal...
by AnnSheybani | Apr 6, 2014 | Alcoholic rules, books, coaching, expectations, Honesty, Life, limiting beliefs, manipulation, rage, self-sabotage, Shift The World, Steve Chandler, The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome
My mom was the queen of expectations. Despite being very helpful to me, particularly when my kids were young, her acts of service always came with an unspoken price tag. Our relationship suffered because she expected me to do whatever she ‘expected’ of me...
