Here in Ireland I read incessantly.  No sooner than I finish one book, I scan the bookshelves and grab another.  For the last ten days I’ve been in total bliss, until I ran into this little number, which really pulled me up short.

Walt must have bought Money, A Love Story by Kate Northrup because I don’t think it’s something I would normally have picked up. Even though I’m the one who keeps the books, money is a topic I would rather ignore.  Which is why I REALLY needed to study these pages. (Avoidance is a wonderful clue.)

I often write about the need to rescue your self instead of depending on a relationship to save you from life.  I’m the one who says, “The ski patrol isn’t coming, it’s all on you.” And of course I say these things because I recognize the tendency in me to look outside of myself for salvation, even after my ridiculous history.

Which is why my eyes snapped open when I read the chapter title You’ve Got You, Babe, which addresses the very same “rescue issue” when it comes to financial health.

I used to think I was above the Prince Charming trap.  But in the spring of 2007, I found myself sitting in Barbara Stanny’s workshop, listening to her talk about letting go of your ledge.  She explained that your ledge could be the relationship you’re clinging to because you don’t think you can make it financially on your own, the job you hate but stay in because it’s a steady paycheck, or the business partnership that just doesn’t feel good but you stay in because you don’t think you have what it takes to do it by yourself.

Anyway, if you recognize yourself in any of this, pick up this book.  It’s time to take ownership of your financial life, rather than relinquishing control to someone else and hoping it all works out.

If only for this single reason:

In the best case scenario, this sort of negligence leads to a gnawing feeling of questioning your value and not ever feeling totally empowered in your relationship.  In the worst-case scenario, it leads to bankruptcy, the dissolution of relationships and families, and worse, the complete collapse of your sense of self-worth.

Hope, remember, is not a strategy.

Here’s Kate being interviewed by Marie Forleo.  Enjoy.