This is a guest post by Jaimy Blazynski, The Date Doctor.
Most of my life I dated emotionally weak men and never realized it. They would feel sorry for themselves, blame me for their misfortunes, resent my happiness, dwell endlessly on the past and be rude, angry and disrespectful.
I always made excuses for their behavior… he is such a good guy but had a difficult childhood, he works so hard and has a jerk boss or he had a rough break up in the past. There were many more excuses because I dated a lot of jerks, but you get the idea.
Emotionally strong men don’t dwell on these things, don’t let it harm their relationship and don’t take everything out on you. Emotionally strong men can put things in perspective, talk about it if needed and move on and be happy. They are not stuck in the past, they are not angry and they are not looking for someone to blow up at.
Don’t make excuses for someone who is emotionally weak. The most disturbing is when you are always coming up with the excuses and not them. You convince yourself that he must be unhappy because of something that you came up with and try to excuse it, when really it is just another example of them being emotionally weak.
Many women continually end up with these men. If you are one of them I recommend you look at your patterns and pay attention to the signs. Here are just a few to keep in mind.
- Has a terrible relationship with his family and doesn’t want to talk about it.
- Has issues holding a job and always blames his boss or co-workers.
- Hates his ex and brings it up way too early and way too often.
- Lacks any long term friendships.
- Snaps at the waitress for not having an item on the menu.
- Becomes emotionally guarded when something is wrong and you have to walk on egg shells.
- Gets angry when you try to talk about anything.
- Always has an excuse for not reaching his goals and it is NEVER his fault.
- Reframes what you are trying to say just to find something else to be angry about.
- Digs things up from the past to try and make you feel responsible for his mood.
There are many men out there who are emotionally strong, healthy and ready for a great relationship. If you are not attracting these men you need to look at you and not all the losers you are attracting.
After a lifetime of dating men who were emotionally weak I broke the pattern. It wasn’t easy but I forced myself to change the way I dated forever. It all started with believing that I deserved to be a with a healthy, happy person.
I finally was lucky enough to meet Erik 12 years ago! There were times when I thought my husband was a unemotional. This was because I was so used to men who over reacted. I realized that he is not unemotional it is that he is simply emotionally strong! I am not saying he doesn’t aggravate the hell out of me some days and have fun pushing my buttons. But it is so refreshing to be with someone that you don’t have to make excuses for, someone that can admit and take responsibility for his crap and someone that lives in the moment.
Now get out there and find yourself a strong guy like Erik. And by the way, I found him on match.com.
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Check out Jaimy at got5minutes.com You can also hear her every Friday evening on the Damon Scott Show 96.5 TIC. She also frequently visits The Chaz and AJ show on 99.1 WPLR, The Mary Jones show WDRC and Fox CT. You can also find her book “Crush” on shelves at Barnes and Noble or right here on amazon.
