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Here's what I learned TOTALLY by accident. Personal story sells.

Writing

I’m the last person who should be talking about this…

October 4, 2019

Years ago, I ran into a surgical nurse at a party in Ireland. We were chatting about life, as one is prone to do at gatherings. And when I told this nurse about a talk I was giving when I got back to the States, about what I’d really noticed during our time in Ireland, about getting lost in the busyness, losing connection to myself, the need to slow down and breathe, to think, to have enough space to know how I feel and what I really need to attend to, she told me about a practice they’d put into place in the operating room where she worked.

Between each procedure, no matter how busy the day, no matter how many emergencies are lined up outside the door, the doctors, nurses, and technicians are required to stop dead in their tracks, drop their arms by their sides, and stand for a full two minutes doing absolutely nothing They are not allowed to rush into the next thing. And what they discovered is that, invariably, someone had the realization that he/she had forgotten an important step in the procedure they’d just finished. He/she had failed to swab something or remove a sponge, or whatever. It seemed to happen every time. And they all would have missed something really vital had they not had the time to stop and breathe. To regroup between tasks.

It saved the hospital millions of Euros in lawsuits each year.

Sometimes. All we need is two minutes to think. To sit and breathe. To connect. To slow down. To pay attention.

I get to know people pretty well doing what I do. No surprise, I tend to attract a lot of folks who operate in the world much the way I do. Hard-drivers bent on pushing forward; accomplishing what they’ve set out to do come hell or high water. I sit back and watch them and I see myself up close and personal. Crazy town.

My role is all about getting the good stuff out of the head and onto the page, but sometimes I find it necessary to point out some bad habits that are getting in the way, bad habits that, of course, I share. Make some suggestions that will allow a person to slow the fuck down so we can write a really good book. And not lose all the beans in the process.

We teach what we need to learn.

That being said, emotional wellness is all about taking your time; about being thoughtful. It means considering the consequences of your decisions and your actions.

It means reflecting.

It means slowing down… and paying attention… to those very few things that matter most.

It means connecting to what you think and feel at any given moment.

You have to get quiet. Really quiet. For two blessed minutes.

It’s in this space of stillness that truth surfaces, understanding expands, and we discover the answers. Our answers.

Silence is a refuge that restores and rejuvenates. Silence helps us sort priorities, tutors us in the skill of deep listening, and gives us a place from which to live. Silence is the path back to the authentic self.

Get quiet and you will find you. It doesn’t have to be complicated.

After a truly nutty couple of weeks, I’m going back to my tools. I’ve got a menu here from which to choose.

Because, I don’t know about you, but I need to create some quiet and space. Think about it. If you’re in the same place, what would work for you?

Meditate for 10 minutes a day
Shut off electronics for half a day
Pray
Sit on the couch and stare out a window without feeling guilty
Be alone
Turn off the engine and sit in your car before you go in
Go on a silent retreat
When you’re upset, or angry, or sad, open a notebook and explain why– What is making you upset? Why are you angry? What is making you sad?
Wake up 15 minutes earlier and read a book with a cup of coffee
Take out your calendar. Schedule a day off, or even half a day to goof off
Start your day by asking a better question. Instead of beating yourself up for what you did wrong the day before, ask yourself this: How can I appreciate even more God’s grace and acceptance in my life? Then wait for the answer
Or write a shortlist of what you did right the day before. What did you do right? Now, there’s a different twist
Go for a walk
Do what the E.R. nurses do. Stop for a full 2 minutes between tasks

This busy scurrying thing we do—thinking it’s the fuel that feeds our accomplishment—only serves to make us scattered, ungrounded, distracted, unavailable. To ourselves and others.