Have you put your “totally unrealistic” dream on the back burner because you can think of 10 problems right out of the box?
I was watching a fox and her two kits bound across the field this morning as Walt and I drank our first cup of coffee. In the upper pasture, a herd of dairy cows had formed a battle line, like a division of black and white soldiers. They were waiting for Ben, our neighbor’s border collie, to march them toward their morning milking. Just beyond, a 5-minute walk down the gravel road, the North Atlantic crashed against the cliffs of Low and High Islands.
Joy. Peace. My brand of heaven!
I used to believe set ups like this landed in the laps of the rich, or those lucky ducks that win the lottery. No effort necessary. One day they meander on the scene and, WaBam!, they have life just the way they want it. Never occurred to me that I could possess such a place myself. Even if I thought it possible, I wouldn’t have had a clue where to begin.
Those of us raised in alcoholic households tend to scratch our heads at the concept of “process”. We don’t get that something worth having usually takes effort, time, and perseverance. That there are lots and lots of little steps, obstacles galore, and moments when you’re sure your efforts were for naught. And I’m talking ALWAYS. Most of us throw our hands in the air when we encounter the first problem. Because we don’t believe that we have the ability to affect outcome. We tend to feel lost and helpless.
See, we were trained:
- to accept what we got without complaint
- to ignore problems
- to hunker down until the storm passed
- to hit resistance and immediately fold if we knew what was good for us.
No one in our household troubleshot solutions. No one implemented improvements. No one stuck their hand out and reached for more. Dreamed big.
Picture perfect was the fodder of Hollywood and TV.
My blue-blooded friend, John, set me straight on the WaBam! theory several years ago. “You know these flowers didn’t spring up on their own,” he said when I’d run on and on about his lovely garden. When I’d assumed he had fairies making thing nice for him behind the scenes. “You have to research the conditions, and buy the seeds, and excavate the area, and weed, and water daily, and hire someone to take care of it all whenever you go away. Don’t think for a minute I tripped over this. This here,” he said, spreading his outstretched hand over the asters and mums, “represents hard work.”
I don’t have a picture of asters or mums, but this is foxglove from the yard. It’s my blog so I can wing it if I want to.
Buying a cottage in Ireland was something of a “process”.
Like John’s garden, it involved researching, seeding, excavating, weeding, watering, and hiring help.
For years we analyzed the financial conditions of the local real estate market, searched for the right spot, did our due diligence. The first deal or two fell through. The Euro soared, making the purchase prohibitively expensive. We ran into problems with the moving company, and hooking up the Internet. We got ass-raped by the exchange rate. We took a loss on the sale of some assets. We had to figure out the zoning laws, the electrical system, the well, the phone, and where to buy a farm gate. In other words, how to navigate the Irish system. And it’s going to feel like “an adventure” for at least another year.
All so we could sit on the couch this morning watching the foxen.
And believe me when I tell you all the inevitable obstacles were worth it.
Here is a picture of the cow grate. It’s an obstacle at the top of our driveway designed to keep the cows from walking down and milling around on our lawn.
I’d like to list the general steps that constitute a “process” for those of you still in the dark:
1. Envision what it is that you want
2. Make a decision, a choice (sometimes any decision/choice is better than none)
3. Get a small foothold by taking some sort of action to get the ball rolling
3. Plant a whole bunch of seeds by reaching out, talking to people, putting yourself out there, then take more and more action
4. Stay at it, rain or shine. Because tenacity is what separates the mice from the (wo)men.
But, I’m going to keep it short today. Because Walt wants to wander into town and buy some wine and cheese for cocktail hour. Pretty good stuff, I’d say.
And I’m telling you all of this because it’s true what they say: if you can dream it, you can achieve it. So start dreaming. And, fergodsake, stop laying down the minute you meet an obstacle!
