Somebody asked me the other day what I mean when I say, “I teach women how to cut the nice girl crap.”   It dawns on me, now, that I need to be more specific because ignorant certain people don’t understand the expression “nice girl,” or recognize their associated crap, the stuff they should cut the hell out.

What? Were these people raised by the Waltons? Is that why they’re confused?

Seriously, I thought we were all on the same page around here.

Here’s what I mean by “nice girls”:  people-pleasers of the female persuasion. Fake happy people with vaginas.

Here’s what I mean by “cutting the nice girl crap”. 

Stop:

• Manipulating others
• Pretending everything’s A-OK when it’s not
• Looking for someone to rescue you
• Avoiding discomfort and risk
• Desperately clinging to what you know
• Expecting others to read your mind
• Ingratiating yourself
• Using others, and letting yourself be used
• Ignoring your feelings
• Denying your needs and desires
• Handing over the controls
• Sidestepping personal responsibility
• Taking the lazy way out
• Obsessively focusing on everyone else
• Riding on coat tails
• Hoping things will work out in your favor
• Banking on the big payback
• Sidestepping confrontation

Here’s what you have to do if you ever want a shot at living a life you love:

• Lose the blinders and face reality
• Tell the truth
• Be assertive
• Take personal responsibility for your actions and choices
• Ditch the rescue fantasy
• Own up to who you are and what you want
• Accept yourself for who you really are
• Live above board
• Take back the reins of our life
• Say no
• Figure out what is your responsibility, and what belongs to others
• Find a purpose, be it spiritual, physical, or intellectual
• Take responsibility for the attainment of your desires
• Be accountable
• Drop the passivity
• Do what needs to be done
• Fix what needs to be fixed
• Pull your head out of the sand
• Embrace a purpose

OK?  Now, go back to what you were doing.  I’m pretty sure I’ve cleared this confusion up.