This week, I found myself talking to some amazing women who had no clue that they’re amazing.  When I asked them what they liked about themselves, or what they’re good at, they had a helluva time coming up with an answer.  Pretty normal for folks who have come untethered from life as it was known. Normal, but not good, not good at all.

That’s why I’m breaking out this post again.  I think it’s high time for a little reminder:  If you don’t love and honor yourself, no one else will either.

 

 

I’m a huge fan of  Gala Darling.  Her site is all about radical self love.  My favorite among her posts: 100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Right Now.   In it she says:

Make lists of reasons why you love yourself…
& write down (or keep mental lists) of the compliments other people give you. We’re so quick to believe people when they say nasty, unkind or “brutally honest” (ahem, cruel) things to or about us, & we discard all the times we’re told how amazing, beautiful or intelligent we are. Usually this is because our sense of self-doubt is stronger than our self-love. If you can build up the love side of things, this will begin to change.

I used to focus on my flaws, on all the things I’ve ever done wrong. But I much prefer thinking about all the things I love about myself.  It makes me feel ever so much better. Taking Darla’s suggestion to heart, I developed my own little list, a list of the reasons I love myself. Every day I add to the list.  Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

1. Thanks to my Scandinavian heritage, I’ve got fine features and high cheekbones
2. My  legs are so powerful, I could dropkick an elephant down a flight of stairs
3. I can read people well enough to know when to shut up, or give them a hug
4. I can talk to a perfect stranger and find something interesting about them in under 30 seconds
5. My tenacity
6. My insatiable desire to learn, to understand
7. My passion for books
8. My curiosity
9. My boldness
10. My irreverence
11.  I suddenly get that I can affect the world
12. My ability to intellectualize when things get tough
13. My passion and devotion to running, to pushing myself to new physical limits
14. My ability to empathize, to feel others’ pain
15. My writing skills
16. After all of these years thinking I was an idiot in the department, I’ve gotten really good at handling technology
17. I’ve finally figured out that I’m the help I’ve been looking for
18. I AM a leader
19. I’ve got some serious curves
20. I can go from athlete to hot mama in under 20 minutes
21. I raised two kids, and neither of them has ended up in prison
22. I’m an introvert who will never be the life of the party and I’m OK with that
23. I have the cojones to take off every stitch of clothing at a nude beach
24. I look pretty damn good for 48
25. I NEVER get bored
26. I get more things done before 10 AM than most people get done in a week
27. I genuinely view women as my allies and wish them beauty, success, and wealth
28. I’d rather have experiences than things
29. I make seriously good Iranian, Vietnamese, and vegetarian food
30. I can speak several languages well enough to get myself in trouble
31. My sensuous femininity
32. I can run 33 miles in one go
33. I enjoy my own company.  I crack myself up
34. I have zero taste for drama
35. I’m as predictable as weather
36. I’m not the least bit flighty.  In fact, I’m smart
37. I call my mother once a week
38. I (eventually) forgive those who trespass against me
39. I can sew anything from curtains to evening gowns
40. My generous use of commas
41. My fascination with weird things, like taxidermed squirrels
42. I want to do, be, and have MORE
43. I’m a great conversationalist.  No questions about mustard preferences here
44. I make and keep really great friends
45. I graduated from Harvard
46. I’m a good teacher
47. I can name that personality disorder in under five minutes
48. I can discuss and sit with really uncomfortable topics like money, sex, and death
49. I crave adventure
50. I have a shitload of energy
51. I’m a great listener
52. My delicate hands
53. I make my husband feel like the treasure he is
54. I can go on a month-long trip with one carry on bag
55. I have no problem getting up in front of a crowd and speaking
56. I’m a go to person for wholistic editing
57. I’m rarely late
58. I have the makings of a maven
59. I was blessed with clear skin and straight teeth
60. Brilliant green eyes
61. I started not just one new business, but two
62. My health.  I’m rarely ill
63. What you see is what you get
64. I’m remarkably low maintenance
65. I’m honest.  When you ask me to, I’ll tell you the truth. (And sometimes when you don’t)
66. I knit a mean scarf
67. I can traverse a knife-edged ridge, a 3000-ft drop on one side, a 5000-ft drop on the other, and not crap my pants
68. I’ve reached 3 of the 7-summits, come close to conquering a 4th
69. I know how to receive, as well as give
70. Give me 30 minutes notice and I can come up with a dinner for 12
71. Tell me what’s going on in your life, and I can recommend the PERFECT book
72. I make shit happen
73. I don’t watch TV
74. I’m a CREATOR
75. I always know what to do (eventually)
76. My posture
77. I am by nature uber monogamous
78. I have no issue wearing flip-flops AND a winter coat
79. I learned to scuba dive to conquer (or at least mitigate) my fear of sharks
80. I can sleep comfortably in a tent when it’s -30 F outside
81. I can talk about my most gruesome mistakes as if they were recipies for chip dip
82. I have goals, big goals
83. I’ve begun to dream really big
84. I’ve started to develop faith
85. I can make and edit videos, then slap them up on YouTube
86. I wear sexy underwear
87. Despite having no filter, I’m very diplomatic
88. I ask great questions
89. I flirt with everybody, including the dog
90. I’m lucky to remember my nutty dreams in the morning
91. I can make do with very little, but I’m done with settling
92. I have a chemistry degree, which is an accomplishment for a math hater
93. My muscular back
94. I have no problems sleeping.  Ever. Except for airplanes
95. I’ve never used drugs, except for smoking half a joint at the age of 35
96. I’ve discovered healthy boundaries
97. My long, blonde hair
98. I’m a fiscal conservative and a social liberal
99. I’m a hugger
100. You ain’t seen nothing yet

Sweet Jesus.  I had no idea I was this amazing.

What might happen if you started a list of your own?  How would it change your view of yourself?  Start one up.  Send it to me.  I’d love nothing better than to post it.  Why not share your awesomeness with the world.

For a little added fun, here’s a Ted talk with Gala Darling.  She makes a couple more suggestions about how to build that muscle of self love.  Enjoy.