I finished off a big Masterclass promotion at the beginning of the month. ( I probably don’t have to tell you this because you no doubt received 250 emails from me and wanted very much for me to cut the shit.)

I’m amazed at all of the emotions that come up for me whenever I do a big marketing push.

Getting me to do a big, very public project like this (without Walt leading the charge) can be like pulling teeth. I resist it for SO long until, sick of myself, I just knuckle down and get it done.

During a launch, all the reasons for resistance come up; smacking me right in the face.

First, I really like doing things well. Which means doing what I’ve always done before, not venturing out too far onto thin ice, revealing myself for the relative newbie I am in this arena. Making some sort of fatal mistake that, by definition, I’ll never recover from. And let me tell you, mistakes ABOUND during a launch. I haven’t died yet, so there’s that.

Second, I wind up presenting myself to total strangers, not my nice, warm followers who know and respect me as a person (or so I assume).

As a writer, someone who shares personal stories, someone who teaches others to do the same, I’m used to (if you can ever REALLY be used to it) criticism. Put yourself out there and the trolls will come. People will disagree with your thoughts and feelings, your value system, your whole take on life. It’s just part of the game, what comes when you enter the larger conversation with others who may not like what you have to say.

But some of the comments people left on my Facebook ads just blew my mind. Case in point.

They remind me that we live in such divisive times. People no longer criticize ideas–don’t think a writer should work to an outline, that’s just fine–they go straight for the person–you are a wretched, damaged human being.

You’re just a stranger to them, so why not?

I’ve watched what’s come up in me in response, and it ain’t pretty: The eviscerating things I’d like to say in response, the hitmen I’d like to hire, that sort of thing. (Yes, it occurred to me to point out the spelling error, but Karma being what it is, I guarantee you the next ten posts I write would be loaded with typos.)

And believe me, I’ve taken great pains to use troll droppings as teaching opportunities. Because, when you can bounce off of something rude, or invasive, or plain old mean, and demonstrate something important to your audience instead, you score, like, a million points in this game. (You want to see a master respond to bullshit with grace and dignity, read what Tony Robbins did here. P.S. Notice how the troll detractor swung back and used the interaction to HIS benefit!)

But really, all of this goes to show that while we build our business, we’ve got to work on ourselves as well.

This stuff–promoting your products and services in the bigger world, speaking to the results you give your clients, pricing those goods and services, especially pricing– is about personal development, don’t kid yourself.

So, here’s just a short list of what I’m working on (or see the need to work on):

1. God grant me the wisdom to know that someone who disagrees with me may have a good point, one that I can use to my advantage.
2. People want to feel good, do what you can so they don’t feel in the wrong.
3. Never mention your mother in copy. EVER. Mothers are holy.
4. It’s usually a copy problem, pull out one sentence and you’re probably fine.
5. Please, God, lose the defensiveness. Not everyone’s going to like you, and that’s OK.

Anyway, I hope this helps you. If you’re feeling any of this while you’re writing a book or promoting it, you’re so not alone. Keep on keepin’ on.