I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about our choice to move to Ireland.

Here’s an example:

I am researching where to live and what we can afford for the past month. It will be two or three years before we are ready to retire. I can’t convince my hubby to move out of the Country. How do you plan family visits, etc? Also, do you have dual citizenship? Thx for any advice!

I thought I’d ramble about our decision process in response.

Walt and I have lived here in West Cork—it’s right at the bottom of Ireland, over to the left if you were looking at a map—for over 5 years.

We came to this spot for the first time 11 years ago this September simply because some friends of ours didn’t know what to give us for our wedding. They figured, what with having been married before, owning our own homes, we didn’t need another toaster or blender. So they handed over the keys to their holiday home to use for our honeymoon.

I didn’t expect to like Ireland, let alone want to move here. There’s a reason this place is repudiated to be rainy as fuck: It is. Particularly during the late fall and winter months, namely now. But it was the bone-deep quiet that initially appealed to both Walt and me, the fact that the only thing we could hear were the bees, birds, and cows; the ocean crashing nearby.

For introverts, that there is crack cocaine.

Before Ireland sunk her hooks into us, we couldn’t imagine wanting to settle down in any one place.  Connecticut was no great shakes but for each of us it was home. That seemed like enough. We both love traveling, always have. Sure, some countries were more appealing than others—Mendoza, Argentina we found friendly, outdoorsy yet sophisticated, and appealingly cheap; Moscow, a cold, sullen place we had no love for. But why commit ourselves to one place when the world was our proverbial oyster?

To make me all the more averse, I’d lived in Iran for five lonnnnggggg years. I wasn’t looking to ditch the U.S again any time soon. Even if it meant moving to a similar culture, one that shared the same language, which eliminates a number of problems I’d experienced in Iran.

Yet, each year we came back to Ireland. Our outrageously generous friends appreciated the way we raved about their home and hood so, on each of our anniversaries, there was the little ole’ key in our mailbox. What kind of savage would turn that down?

So, back we’d go.

After the first couple of years, we stopped visiting all the tourist attractions. I mean, why drive 5 hours to the Cliffs of Moher when you can look out the front window at a set of your own? Instead, we spent weeks running along the coast road, hiking on the peninsulas, hanging out at the farmer’s market in town on Saturday mornings.

That there is excitement in a nutshell for us.

If you like glamor and Broadway shows and the nightlife, this place would bore you speechless. With the exception of Dublin, maybe a few of the county capitals, this is an agrarian country composed of small, tight-knit farming communities who are into about what you’d expect. You want to see and be seen you do it at the local pub, at least for the most part.

A single woman, in my mind, would get awfully lonely. A couple that doesn’t drink needs to be pretty self-contained or creative when it comes to finding community. You’d want to join a golf club, or a rowing team, or a local church for a sense of connectedness. The winter months get dark and long, and that’s when you need friends most.

Why did we buy a house? I suppose we thought we’d keep a holiday home like our friends. Visit it a few times a year, and rent it out the rest. Then there was the fact that the Irish economy had tanked two years after our own implosion. The places we passed by, the ones we’d admired, were suddenly on the block for 50% of their previous market value.

We found this place. It was perfect (for us) in every way. Decision-making time arrived.

Mortgages couldn’t be had for love or money, particularly for foreigners. Which meant that we had to come up with a hefty pile of cash. Our Connecticut home had plenty of equity, so we took out a second mortgage on it.

Note: If you want to buy a place in a foreign country, you’ll likely need to pay cash.

Suddenly we wanted to stay here all the time; never leave so precious was this place.

Which leads us to the dual citizenship visa question. Do we have dual citizenship? No. To become an Irish citizen, one of us would need to show proof that we had a grandparent born in Ireland, which neither of us could do. I’m sure there are some other ways to get it, but that’s the easiest way.

Americans, however, can visit Ireland without a visa, but they’re required to exit within 90 days. Can you come back in a week or two once you’ve exited the country? Yes, but you’re not supposed to stay longer than 180 days total during a calendar year. And they have ways of figuring that out.

How do you get around those restrictions? You hire a lawyer and apply for a visa. There are several different types of visas, which I won’t go into here, but we have a type that allows us to stay as long as we want, provided that we reapply for the visa each year and pay the fee. (Something like $400 pp/yr.)

In order to get this visa, we had to have a certified account attest to the fact that we are financially independent and will not become a burden on the state. This visa is typically given to retirees, people who will not take jobs from Irish citizens.

Now, how do we plan family visits?

We go to Orbitz, even though I hate them, and book a ticket and a rental car, maybe a hotel room. Then we pack our bags, drive to Cork City, or Dublin, or Shannon, and jump on a plane. In other words, how else would we do it? We go when we have an opportunity and/or an invitation. We’re not dealing with the Berlin Wall here.

We no longer own our home in Connecticut; we sold that two summers ago. Which means, if we don’t stay in a hotel, we rent an Airbnb. Now we stay in this city or that city, depending on our commitments. Sometimes we stay a day or two, sometimes a couple of weeks. The United States is now our oyster, as is the rest of the world. Not much has changed.

I’ll leave you with this.

Moving to a foreign country sounds romantic, and it can be.

Yes, it comes with a lot of advantages—Chamonix for the weekend for $100, anyone?

But it also comes with some potential disadvantages, such as the legal hurdles you’ll need help navigating if you decide to stay.

The thing is, a culture may not actually be a good fit for you, and you won’t know that until you’ve spent some time there. The things/attributes you value may be frowned upon or deemed irrelevant, and that won’t make you feel good. Sure, you may speak the same language, as is the case with Ireland, but the culture, well, the culture is different regardless. You’ll never understand just how American you truly are until you live outside the country.

The smartest thing you could ever do is rent an Airbnb, or a hotel, and stay in a country for three or so months. You’ll know if the country calls you. (Everybody raves about Bali? I would die if I lived there.) See if you like the weather, the culture, the environment, the energy, the amenities, the lifestyle. See if the cost of living feels affordable. (In Ireland, some things are more expensive, some things are much cheaper, and it about evens out.) Until you’ve done so, consider the idea a nice fantasy that needs some testing.

Hope this helps.