Which Disney princess are you? (And other useless quizzes)

by | Sep 8, 2025 | Writing | 0 comments

We’ve all taken those inane quizzes, haven’t we? “Which Disney character are you?” “What’s your spirit animal?” “Which Friends character matches your personality?” I always end up as Cinderella—probably because she had serious shoe problems, which feels relatable because I’m forever trashing my feet with egregious footwear.

But here’s a quiz that actually matters for your writing career: What type of writer are you? And I’m not talking about whether you prefer laptops or longhand, coffee shops or kitchen tables. I’m talking about your core motivation for wanting to write a book in the first place.

After working with hundreds of writers over the past decade, I’ve discovered something crucial: there are fundamentally different types of people who want to write books, and they have completely different motivations. Understanding which type you are isn’t just helpful—it’s essential for choosing the right genre, developing the right strategy, and avoiding years of frustration.

Most writing advice treats all writers the same, which is insane when you think about it. It’s like giving the same career advice to someone who wants to be a brain surgeon and someone who wants to open a coffee shop. Same planet, totally different goals.

The Five Types of Writers

When I first started working with writers, most fell into what I call the Beautiful Writer category. They wanted to create art, tell compelling stories, and be recognized for their literary talent. Their dream was seeing their book in bookstores, getting positive reviews, maybe winning awards.

But as my career evolved and the publishing landscape shifted, I began working with completely different types of writers who weren’t primarily motivated by artistic recognition. They wanted to build careers and businesses around their expertise.

Here’s how to figure out which type you are:

The Beautiful Writer

Core Motivation: To create art, craft compelling narratives, and be recognized for literary talent.

Primary Goals:

  • Write novels, memoirs, or literary nonfiction that moves readers deeply
  • Develop a distinctive voice and style
  • Get published by traditional publishers
  • Receive critical acclaim and positive reviews
  • Build a readership that appreciates quality writing
  • Leave a literary legacy

Typical Genres: Literary fiction, memoir, creative nonfiction, poetry, short story collections

Reality Check: This path requires exceptional writing skill, thick skin for rejection, and often takes years to achieve recognition. Most Beautiful Writers need day jobs unless they achieve significant commercial success. But if you’re committed to the craft and can handle the uncertainty, the world needs people who prioritize storytelling and artistic expression.

The Expert Positioner

Core Motivation: To be recognized as a leading expert in their field and build a business around their knowledge.

Primary Goals:

  • Establish credibility and authority in their industry
  • Attract better clients and charge higher fees
  • Generate speaking opportunities and media coverage
  • Build an engaged audience interested in their expertise
  • Create multiple revenue streams from their knowledge
  • Become the go-to person when people need help in their area

Typical Genres: Business books, self-help, how-to guides, expert positioning books, big idea books

Reality Check: Your book is one component of a larger business strategy. You need to think like an entrepreneur, not just a writer. If that sounds overwhelming, welcome to the modern publishing world.

The Influential Storyteller

Core Motivation: To share life experiences in ways that inspire, teach, and influence others while building a personal brand.

Primary Goals:

  • Tell their story in a way that helps others
  • Build a following around their life experiences and lessons learned
  • Generate speaking opportunities about resilience, transformation, or overcoming challenges
  • Position themselves as motivational speakers or life coaches
  • Create a movement or inspire social change
  • Become known for their unique perspective on universal challenges

Typical Genres: Memoirs, inspirational books, social justice narratives

Reality Check: You need to be comfortable sharing your life publicly and consistently engaging with your audience. If you’re not prepared for that level of transparency, pick a different path.

The Oprah Stage Dreamer

Core Motivation: To achieve widespread recognition, influence, and a platform that reaches millions of people.

Primary Goals:

  • Write a book that becomes a cultural phenomenon
  • Appear on major media outlets and influential stages
  • Build a massive following across multiple platforms
  • Become a household name in their area of expertise
  • Generate significant revenue from books, speaking, and media appearances
  • Influence public conversations and social change

Typical Genres: Big idea books, memoirs with universal appeal, social commentary, transformational stories

Reality Check: This level of success requires exceptional content, strategic marketing, often significant financial investment, and frequently some element of luck or timing. Most people who achieve this level have been building their platforms for years before their book launches.

The Practical Professional

Core Motivation: To enhance their current career and professional reputation without necessarily building a massive platform.

Primary Goals:

  • Establish credibility in their current field
  • Attract better job opportunities or clients
  • Share their expertise in a structured way
  • Build a professional network and recognition
  • Create a legacy of their professional knowledge
  • Differentiate themselves from competitors

Typical Genres: Industry-specific guides, business books, professional memoirs, how-to books

Reality Check: The ROI comes through professional advancement rather than book sales. Don’t expect to quit your day job or become famous. Expect to become more credible in your current field.

Why This Matters

Understanding your writer type changes everything about how you approach your book. The Beautiful Writer and the Expert Positioner need completely different strategies, timelines, and expectations. One isn’t better than the other—they’re just different paths with different destinations.

So, which type resonates with you? Unlike those Disney character quizzes, this one actually has the power to shape your entire writing strategy. And unlike Cinderella, you don’t need a fairy godmother to make your writing dreams come true—you just need to understand what those dreams actually are.

BTW, if you liked this post, you’re going to love the book Brick by Brick: The No Bullsh*t Guide to Writing Books That Get Read, hitting the market this November.

Check out my book

Straight-talking, funny and brutally honest, How To Eat The Elephant will give you–yes, you–the push you need to haul your ass off the sofa and position it in front of your computer long enough to produce a real, live book.