Yesterday I received a letter from myself. I wrote it a year ago while I was at a seminar called Date with Destiny. I forgot that I had ever written it. It made me happy because I realize how far I’ve come on the emotional front.
Do you waste your precious time, energy, and focus on guilt, or worry? Do you hold onto the past, thinking it could have been anything different?
Maybe my letter will mean something to you, too.
Dear Ann,
You are so beloved and valuable. You forgot a long time ago that you were always loved, that your parents did their best, but they were burdened by their unhappy stories and emotions. You have forgiven them already because you recognize they were only doing what they knew how to do.
Ten years ago, almost to the day, you, too, were forgiven by the man you felt you had hurt so badly. You looked at each other that last time and everything that had happened, all the hurt you inflicted on each other because of your own stories, no longer mattered. You were two souls who appreciated and loved each other, old friends forever. And he had his destiny to fulfill. He had his path, which once crossed yours, giving you two beautiful children.
You have always had your children’s best interests at heart. You can never accuse yourself of having not loved them with all your heart. You have forgiven yourself for any mistakes you may have made. You trust that God will take over where you left off. That you can relax, now, knowing that you can’t control everything; that they have their own journeys.
You have a man who loves you with all his heart, that has shown you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he would die for you. Stop trying to control him. Let him be free. Help him so he can love what is most important to him. You are number one in his life.
Remember that you will never indulge in that bullshit emotion of guilt because it separates you from your true, strong, and vulnerable self. Guilt separates you from your husband, your children, and exhausts your creativity, spontaneity and joy. Guilt has been a bullshit emotion in the past, but it is the monster enemy that needs to be killed.
You are strength, courage, joy, passion, openness, compassion, and juiciness. There is no room for guilt.
Be the selfless love that Walt needs. Don’t think for a minute about looking for payback. His love is free, and so is yours. The more you give, the more fulfilled you will feel.
Reach out. Everyone around you needs what you need–a kind word, a hug, a touch. You can’t forget how good connection feels. It’s so simple.
Remember to give people some time. Sometimes you have to wait until they reveal their true beauty and vulnerability. Remember your compassion for them and yourself.
Remember that people will only judge you for what you judge in yourself. Remember the Fireman. How he had self-possession, kindness, and centeredness. He was beautiful because he allowed others to see his vulnerability.
I love you more than you can ever know. I appreciate your strength and softness.
Love, Me
