I learn so much from my writing clients. Sometimes I think I should be paying them.  After reading this segment from Kyrsten Barrett’s soon to be published book, well, I realized she was speaking to me. That’s why I pulled my memoir out of the drawer after four years, why I’m spending time each week working on my own book project. I know it makes me a better coach. What part of you do YOU need to pull from a drawer?

As soon as Nick and I were settled into our new home in Boston, I created a morning ritual I called “Tea with God.” After pouring myself a cup of hot tea and doing a brief meditation, I would write a question in my journal and quickly scribble the first thoughts that came to me after asking.

One cold December morning, I was feeling frustrated and defeated. I had found a part-time job and I was teaching Nia once a week, but Boston was an expensive city and my income wasn’t going to sustain me for long.

God, I can’t seem to manifest instant security. Finding places to teach dance feels slow moving and I’m getting scared and impatient. Sometimes I feel relaxed, confident and have faith in the situation. Other times I feel fearful and I lose touch with faith.

As soon as I finished writing I heard a quiet, calm response.

 Breathe…listen.

I took a deep breath.

Wait.

I quickly protested.

But I feel like I can’t wait because I have bills to pay. I don’t have time to wait.

I immediately heard a gentle response, which I transcribed as quickly as possible.

When you stop to hear and make space for God the wait will be over. If you push God out you will be waiting for something that is right there waiting for you to open up to it. Make space for the wisdom to come and the wait will be over.

Is God truly guiding me or is this my ego mind making shit up? The voice continued,

Let’s find out what’s blocking your instant manifestation of multiple dance classes.

I wasn’t sure if I was receiving real guidance, but things were just getting interesting so I took another mindful breath and wrote,

Ok

So, you know in order to manifest something you need to choose it always. Do you choose dance always?

Yes, I think so.

I had spent the last several months dreaming about teaching Nia full-time. My intention hadn’t wavered.

You don’t spend much time in your own practice. Commit to giving dance to YOU. Choose dance as a part of your every day experience. Dance every day. Embody dance. Now.

It was true I hadn’t been dancing. I had told myself I would get to dance regularly when I was teaching more, but I didn’t need to delay gratification. I could dance in my family room just as I had in college.

Do you choose money and success?

I think so.

If you were to choose money and success you would focus on your love for them. You would focus on their presence in your life now and always.

I was grateful for the money I had, but it didn’t seem like enough. I was just scraping by. I didn’t feel successful.

You would have faith in me – Faith that I am giving you money, success and more in this moment and always. Let go of the expectation that this has to look, feel or be a certain way or happen in a certain time. God can create things you cannot imagine in your limited perspective. Focus on love. Be excited, be carefree, be open to receiving the gifts. Dance, sing and be joyous. There is no need to worry. All is well. Now, go dance.

Ok, I’ll start tomorrow. I’m tired now.

As far as I was concerned my tea with God session was complete. God’s voice chimed in.

Go dance.

But, I’m resistant, I insisted.

Let go of your resistance. Choose to be open, excited, energized and enthusiastic.

Accidentally arguing for my limitations, I wrote,

But I’m REALLY tired.

God had an answer for everything.

That’s because you are not taking care of your body. Imagine that, a dance teacher that doesn’t take care of her body. Like I said before, practice dance, embody dance, be dance. Energy in equals energy back. Go to it! Remember, you love this. This only feels like work right now because you’re resisting. Enter your body. Enter the dance. All ways and always.

I may have been making up the whole thing, but the guidance made sense. I knew I could start acting more like a dance teacher and do the things I would do if I already had classes. I closed my eyes, took a long, slow breath and whispered, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” My tea with God had been helpful and it was time for me to drag myself to the family room, put on some music and dance.

I trusted the guidance and consistently took action that honored, validated and accentuated my inner dance teacher. Opportunities for classes started cropping up and before long I was teaching ten classes each week throughout Boston.