So, I’m working with a writer who is writing a book for his son, who is about to head off to college. He wants to compile all of the advice and wisdom he can gather before he loses the opportunity to shape his course. He’s writing about how to pick a mate, how to be successful, deal with money, choose a career or a business, that sort of thing. What’s one thing YOU wished you knew about life before you set off down the road as an 18-year-old? What’s the best piece of advice you ever received that saved you a shit ton of grief?

 

1. I wish I could hug my younger self and tell her “it will all be OK” because it is, and hearing this would have saved me many bouts of tears and stress.
2. I wish I had known that it was okay to do what I was good at, and just be happy, not overly ambitious to please other people’s expectations of me. At age 59, I am content to do just enough to make me happy and buy beer. Hard menial work makes me happy because I can buy beer. I am an artist and writer, but that is love, not work. I needed to be free to be me and let my natural talents flow without searching for outside approval.
3. Save before you spend! Don’t settle for second best.
4. It’s all a story, we make all of this up. Since you’re going to tell stories, why not let them be good stories?
5. Do not be afraid. There’s only 2 kinds of fear, real and imagined. Distinguishing the two is a game-changer.
6. Discover and be your authentic self. Then find a great mate to share life’s ups and downs with, because careers may go up and down. But real unconditional love is priceless.
7. You can spend most of your life trying to be the person you wish you were only to find out that person isn’t really you and you’re not happy with yourself. Be honest with yourself about who you are from the beginning and you will save yourself a lot of effort and worry.
8. Ask for help when you need it.
9. Ask for help before you need it so you have practice being vulnerable and are comfortable asking when you really do need it.
10. Trust your own instincts above anyone else’s know matter what you think they “know.” What your instincts say don’t have to make sense to be “right.”
11. Take a personal finance course in college. It should be a requirement in college but usually it’s an elective, unless one is majoring in business or finance. Every student graduates with debt and then creates more. Early education on how to manage your money or lack there of is crucial.
12. Consider how your talents and passion match up with the employment opportunities that are available currently. There is a disconnect between graduate skills and employer desired skills. “The Skills Gap”. Finally, find a mentor who can help you with “workforce readiness” both hard and soft skills.
13. Listen to your gut, don’t ignore it.
14. Save 12-15% of every paycheck without fail. The beauty of compound interest and investing wisely requires time and lots of it. You have this when you’re young, but not when you’re old. This is a simple lesson, requiring discipline & planning, but it really works!
15. It won’t always be this way. Take care of your future self by the choices you make today. Take care of the days and weeks, and the years will take care of themselves. More of anything won’t fix it.
16. Keep a journal. Write every day. Include the year when you date your entries. Keep writing. Even if you have to join the 6 AM club.
17. Never borrow money other than to buy real estate.
18. You will be making choices on your own now….loads of them. Whether they are about drinking, smoking pot, having sex, attending classes, driving drunk, going to the gym, eating healthy, having fun, calling your mom, keeping in touch with friends. Some choices are no brainers while others you will struggle with. Just know that every choice has benefits and consequences. Consider your choices wisely. Take the time to think things through. You will fuck up, we all do. Learn from that. You are testing your wings. Have fun on this journey and don’t stress too much. Experiment and discover what you like and what you don’t. Explore who you want to be and who you don’t want to be. But most of all, HAVE FUN.. RELAX. There is no rush in life to cross the finish line. Take your time. Smile, laugh and enjoy your college years.
19. Always tell the truth and always use a potholder.
20. Save your money, learn how to invest and take care of your overall health.
21. A college education in America is not guaranteed in spite of laws on the books.
22. Best advice: Matthew 6:33
23. College is as much about the relationships you build and growing as a person as it is about the education. Don’t squander the opportunity with too much partying.
24. Don’t worry about what others think of you. Be true to yourself. Learn to say no.
25. Don’t get married until you’re at least 30. Maybe never.
26. Everyone has their own path. Figure yours out your own way without listening to cheesie memes or advice! No regrets.
27. Love doesn’t make you happy, make yourself happy. Then you’ll find love.
28. Lead the least secretive life you can.
29. I wish I knew about credit and how instead of spending all that money on booze I could have saved and bought some more property
30. Real life (stability) is not a party.
31. I am enough, but I have to put in effort.
32. School is about learning to deal with difficult people.
    
33. Whenever it hits the fan, it’s an opportunity for us to get the skills we need for the next level, And somewhere along the line we asked for or created those experiences, so take full responsibility for them!
34. When things don’t go your way, stop and flow with it for at least 24 hours if you can, view this as an experience to learn from but don’t strangle yourself with ” I caused this to happen. ”  Simply realize it has happened and you can turn it into a more positive situation or not.
35. Wear comfortable shoes.
36. 90% of a college education is learning project management: planning, execution, and follow-through, including how to change horses midstream. It’s all the same whether it’s making dinner, writing a novel, litigating a court case, or building a bridge.
37. Never be afraid to ask.
38. If you hold your head up and act like you know where you’re going, people will get out of your way.
39. Marry your best friend.
40. Work at what you enjoy.
41. Don’t waste time getting angry or staying mad.
42. Think before you speak.
43. Be honest.
44. Take the attitude that you have something to learn from everyone you meet.
45. Practice integrity until it becomes natural.
46. Romance turns into hard work.
47. Never go midget bowling.
48. Don’t settle. Wait for the right mate, plan for the right career and begin saving for retirement with your very first job so you can enjoy your whole life.
49. Practice choosing happiness – don’t wait until some criteria have been realized before you can be happy. It truly is a choice and a skill. And, don’t freak out about your career. You don’t have to choose just one thing.
50. Don’t put your penis in crazy. Many a man has had his life torn up by not heeding this advice.
51. Never iron or cook bacon, naked.
52. You get to choose the mother of your children. Take this seriously. Weigh her ability to deal with stress, laugh at the absurd, and her value judgements. While you are at it, weigh your own. Being a parent is serious business. Avoid the need to apologize for the mom you chose for them or the dad you are.
53. Don’t give a f* about others’ opinions who have never done anything — especially those who don’t do anything but complain or kill others’ dreams!
54. The Stupid Rule: don’t go stupid places with stupid people at stupid times and do stupid things.
55. FOMO will ruin your young life!! Don’t go places and do stuff with people you may or may not care about just because something interesting might happen and you might miss it. If you want to go to bed, go to bed.
56. Not sleeping robs your tomorrow of give-a-damn.
57. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It’s the basic input output scenario, garbage in, garbage out. Poor decisions in, undesired outcome out.
58. You cannot make everybody happy. Period.
59. You are awesome and worth more than you can imagine. When others see greatness, don’t get embarrassed. Listen. They probably see the you you’ll become.
60. The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.
61. You might live a long life, or you might live a short one — who knows. But either way, trust me when I say that you’re going to wish you took better care of yourself in your youth.
62. Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects, hold onto time and experiences instead.
63. Jealousy destroys relationships. Trust your significant other, because who else are you supposed to trust?
64. People always say, ’’Make sure you get a job doing what you love!’’ But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.
65. If you’re getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savour all that is beautiful and comforting. Take a deep breath, relax.
66. Years go by in the blink of an eye. Don’t marry young. Live your life. Go places. Do things. If you have the means or not. Pack a bag and go wherever you can afford to go. While you have no dependents, don’t buy stuff. Any stuff. See the world. Look through travel magazines and pick a spot. GO!
67. Don’t take life so seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.
68. A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am. Everyone else is just an acquaintance.
69. Children grow up way too fast. Make the most of the time you have with them.
70. Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more. Work hard, but don’t prioritize work over family, friends, or even yourself.
71. Eat and exercise like you’re a diabetic heart patient with a stroke — so you never actually become one.
72. Maybe this one isn’t as profound as the others, but I think it’s important… Floss regularly, dental problems are awful.
73. Don’t take anyone else’s advice as gospel. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice…
74. The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they’ve recovered completely. TRUST ME!
75. We have one time on this earth. Don’t wake up and realize that you are 60 years old and haven’t done the things you dreamed about.
76. Appreciate the small things and to be present in the moment. What do I mean? Well, it seems today like younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not appreciate every small moment? We don’t get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities.
77. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.
78. Pay your bills and stay the hell out of debt. If I could have paid myself all the money I’ve paid out in interest over the years, I’d be retired already.
79. If you have a dream of being or doing something that seems impossible, try for it anyway. It will only become more impossible as you age and become responsible for other people.
80. When you meet someone for the first time, stop and realize that you really know nothing about them. You see race, gender, age, clothes. Forget it all. You know nothing. Those biased assumptions that pop into your head because of the way your brain likes categories, are limiting your life, and other people’s lives.
81. Do everything. Live joyfully. Don’t cheat. Be kind. And remember, there is no downside to generosity.
82. Best marital advice ever from my friend, Louise: Every relationship needs a giver and a taker and you have to know which one you are. Neither is better or worse.
83. I wish someone would have taught me how to use/balance a checkbook.
84. One of me friends father told me, “If you find a job doing something that you love, you’ll never work a day in your life!” This has shaped my life and what I “do” for work. I do what I love and love what I do.
85. Find a woman who has as much as you or more. She must have the same HIGH drive as you or more. A good woman is one you who inspires you to work harder for yourself as well as one another so that you both bring more to the collective.
86. When you decide to get married, GET A PRENUP! Don’t fall for that BS “It’s like you’re expecting the marriage to fail” argument.Before you buy a home or drive a new car off the lot you MUST have insurance – and that car begins LOSING value as soon as you drive it off the lot! Now you’re not “expecting” fire, flood, vandalism or theft, but if these things happen, you’re covered. Why not mutually protect yourselves for a totally unknown & unseen future?
87. Don’t try to finish all the stuff in your “in” basket in one day.
88. Mind your manners. You needn’t be wealthy to have good manners, and treating everyone with respect is a sign of good manners. Take a class if you need to, but learn them and use them. And go purchase the book The Art of the Handwritten Note. There is a wealth of information there. Use it.
89. Do not let anyone deter you from your dreams, your goals. Take 15-20 minutes each day and meditate and focus on what you want to do with your life. Then, create an action plan and follow it. I let too many boyfriends distract me from my true goals. They were learning experiences, but I sure did waste many years on them!
90. Whatever you decide doesn’t have to be forever.
91. Infuse your work with play.
92. You can’t choose your circumstances, but you can choose how you think about them. You can choose your response. And how you think makes all the difference.
93. Whatever you accomplish is almost never done alone.
94. Re: marriage: Choose wisely, treat kindly.
95. Finances: Pay yourself first.
96. Take off the mask. Be yourself! This is a tough one for young people. It will spare them a world of angst if they can embrace it, now.
97. Stay in school, don’t get into credit card debt, be safe always, and breathe.
98. Freedom = responsibility. Want to have freedom? Own your choices, deal with the consequences, learn. Repeat.
99. You don’t choose a career. You make it, over time. Then you change and you make another one. Then another one. And so on. The linearity of life is an illusion.
100. Don’t take offense where none is meant.
101. I was working already at 16. I think the best advice I got was from a writer. He said if you want to be a writer. Write. As to advice about life. Remember to take in interest in everything. As someone said you only see a certain number of sunsets in your life. A girl friend of mine said learn to love yourself. A Kurdish friend of mine said that the longest journey you will ever take is in your mind. Finally my advice. Waste not want not. Live a life that is practical and fresh. Do not be a neophile. Read Benjamin Franklin on how to be good.
102. Before responding to anything or anyone, count to seven.
103. Do no needless harm.
104. Save, don’t spend.
105. Embrace the magical power of compounding.
106. Be honest. Always.
107. Never waste a moment. And using the time to learn and grow.
108. Exercise every day.
109. Be your own person and don’t conform to the crowd.
110. Don’t drink or do drugs because everyone else might be.
111. Live every day like it’s your last.
112. Don’t be afraid to seize the moment and to live life without regrets.
113. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. And don’t be defensive.
114. Know that someone is willing to get up earlier and work harder than you. And that they want your job, the girl you dream about, and the dreams you have.
115. Understand that luck happens for a reason. Luck visits those prepared for it.
116. Study abroad for a year. It’s the best education you will get.
117. Go to bed angry. Talk about it in the morning when everyone is rested and caffeinated (if you even remember what the fight was about).